The Switchy Witch

Switch Bliss

February 25th, 2015

So many epic changes in my life lately. Things I’ll talk about soon, maybe later today..but for now. Let’s talk about my switchy self and the most wonderful thing that happened to me.

I am just gonna call it switch bliss. I am a switch. tried and true. This has been well established for years but in all that time I’ve never experienced such full mental/emotional completeness as I did this past Saturday.

Don’t get me wrong, I have played in the past. I have switched from top to bottom and back again many times during play and I have had fabulous times doing it. This time was different. Three days later and I am still reveling in it.

Why was it different?

I think *I* am different. Recent things I’ve written about..the people who have come into my life. I feel like for the first time in years, maybe ever, a wall has been broken down.

I used to be envious of people who could seemingly connect so easily with people they had played with for the first time. We talk a lot about energy exchange during play and how totally amazing it can be. I have experienced some pretty intense energy exchange with people in the past. I’ve had some very intimate moments with people (no..not sexual moments..intimate moments) that have been so special. Yet, I was never left feeling so complete…because there was always a part of me that I held back. The part I protected because I always knew I would go home a lone. That, even though people I played with cared, there wasn’t the love and affection that I craved.

Now, I have found a family. Dynamics that are all different but no less special for what they are.

I approached my play as a top completely differently than I ever have before, which made the play, for me anyway, that much more intense. I’m not holding back anymore… I’m pushing my energy at these people and watching them absorb it. Take it in with each stroke, touch, and caress.

I was.. “accused” of being super lovey now which has made me different. Maybe because of my recent relationship status I am super lovey but I can’t lay all the blame at the feet of this relationship. I made very conscious decisions in how I was going to play with the lovely ladies I played with. And wow. I walked away feeling all kinds of toppish powerfulness. So if this is what lovey gets me…be prepared for more people…

My bliss though, it wasn’t complete until I switched. All thoughts of any sort of topping or dominant personality were gone. completely. I wasn’t in charge. I wasn’t worried about what was going on around me. I was very intensely in the moment. I trust like I never have before. This new found intimacy that I have never experienced while playing is phenomenal. I completely let go of myself. Sure there were some scary moments for me, for personal reasons, but I trusted. The connection that is building and growing in this relationship is a constant source of amazement for me and I was so fulfilled. So completely sated. When it was done..and we were cuddled on the couch I felt so free. Content. There wasn’t a part of me (like in the past) that felt like I needed to bounce and “chase” away the empty feeling inside.

The intimacy I feel not only with my dominant person but the intimacy and affection I feel for the people I choose to play with now. The intimacy and affection that I have with the people in my life who have become my nearest and dearest. These feelings are amazing and I feel like they are a huge part of why I feel the way I do. I am connected. Plugged in. Invested.

My switchy self is still blissed out. I keep waiting to experience drop…but I just keep reliving moments from Saturday and I just *happy sigh*.

I have decided to become what I used to envy. I won’t hold back. The people I play with deserve the all of me in the moment. They deserve to have the best of me and what I can give them, which in turn I hope, will give them an experience they will never forget.

I love feeling complete. I love feeling whole and all parts of my brain are quiet. Sated. I love this feeling.

I love that my dominant person does not feel threatened by my dominant/top personality. He has no desire to deny that part of me and I am so thankful to finally feel like I can be me around a dominant person who accepts all of it. Who doesn’t try to ignore this very big part of me.

Y’all are all amazing!

The Switchy Witch

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