The Switchy Witch

The New D/s Practitioners “work in progress” Guide by ArtWyrd

*original writing and comments posted here :*

Pin your ears back my dear submissives, Dominants, slaves, Tops, bottoms, toys, pets, Owners, girls, boys, babies, and otherwise neophyte practitioners of BDSM, Kink, D/s, S/m, Fetishes… ETC

So you read a few books, found some articles online, talked to a few ‘people’, hell maybe you even Role Played it a bit. Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, submission, Sadomasochism, kink, fetishes…

Most (not all) that wander into the BDSM/Kink community from the dark external vanilla world typically have a “Rough” idea of what the Alternative Lifestyle is all about.

Just ENOUGH to get yourself into a big damn Mess. It is okay.. it happens.. and in some way we pretty much expect that you Will. Hell so very few of us really made a “Flawless” transition ourselves!

So you found FetLife… either on your own… a friend clued you in… family… and that is great! BUT! Let me give you just a few pointers.

In the most simplest of terms too often people just Assume that the whole “Master/slave”, “Dominant/submissive”, “Top/bottom”, “Sadist/masochist”, Etc is just a black and while world of, “Me Tarzan I tell you what to do, you jane you do what your told and shut the hell up.”

Quaint.. cute.. simple.. and yet there IS such a weird draw y’know?

So you wanna Play, you want to join in, You… Want… To… Experience… It… All!! I get it… we all get it… we were just as excited, scared, thrilled and full of simple unadulterated desire that you are now.

But you are like a blind new born kitten/puppy/etc trying to may your way through a dark room that in truth is a maze but you do not SEE it!

The point is.. the common mistake IS that you (and so many others) MAKE that simple assumption.

For all of you submissives out there, and I hate to scare you… there are those that HOPE you will make that mistake. That you WILL just…

Shut Up

Obey Without Question

Yield Unconditionally

Submit With No Limits

Never Say No

One Key and critical aspect of ALL of this… is that “You Have A Voice!”, “You Have A Say!”, “Your Opinion, Feelings, Concerns, Questions, Fears…. Matter!”

You are not Required to respond, reply, accept, agree with, believe, defer to, obey, follow, or otherwise in any way submit to ANYONE!

Others who are just as eager as you and new.. do not know this.. and often will make that, “Tarzan/jane” mistake.

But worst still.. there are others that DO know this.. and simply pray you will remain ignorant.. so they can use you.. take advantage of you.. abuse you.. (None of this in the GOOD WAY!) and utterly seek to mold you into this constrained, contained, unquestioning robot.

So deeply, torn and hurting within yet you have no clue that this is supposed to be Different or that you Do have a say in it all.

As for you aspiring Dominants.. there Are disingenuous submissives and bottoms out there that are so looking to just deliberately try and pull you into being their Possessor so they can try and get what they want from you to then simply walk away. (Yes THIS does happen too!)

Actions that can lead you to make the mistake of BEING more Dominating and Controlling in a want to try and “Make Your Damn Treasures STAY!”

Most of you will put up an Ad… an Advertisement… a “Looking For” post… be it on your profile, a public writing, or placed as a thread in a group you found.

I am NOT going to say that this is a “Bad” idea… but I will say this….


The flood gates will open and you will find yourself so amazingly, and disconcertingly Overwhelmed with messages, responses and friend invites.

Some.. will be honest and curious.. Some.. will be bizarre, strange and disturbing.. Some WILL be very commanding, directing, demanding……….

Tread… Carefully…

A few simple lines… a couple pf terse words.. a very “dominant” Feel of words… and you can find yourself very much falling over your own fingers to reply and send a message back if you are a submissive.

Or there will be the tentative message from a meekly submissive person that expresses so earnestly that they are wanting to be your Everything and have “No Limits”.

Not everything is what it seems to be or Reads to be.

“Newsflash!” Dominance and submission is a RELATIONSHIP! That means this is going to take…. A…. Lot…. Of…. Work! On your part and theirs as well. And there is no Perfect Dominant… (Though we who are Dominants and Masters do so LOVE and deeply Appreciate that our dearly beloved submissives and slaves DO THINK that we are.) There are good Dominants, horrible submissives, great Dominants, Opinionated submissives, Beautifully Supportive submissives, awful Dominants, Smart Assed Masochists, terrible Dominants, liars, cheats, abusers, misogynists, and actual rapists.

Basically, just like in the real world.. there are predatory sharks in these dark and exciting waters of the BDSM/Kink lifestyle.

Take your time… Get To Know People! Ask questions! (YES you CAN!) Do your OWN research. Seek second opinions! Thirds! Fourths! Accept that you can say NO! and still be submissive! KNOW that even the best, or most sincere of people can and WILL make mistakes. But if they are true/good/honest souls they WILL SEEK to make amends, learn from it, and get better. LEARN to know and UNDERSTAND yourself and accept yourself! Join the groups that interest you and post your own questions or threads. Pull open that ‘Events’ tab up top and find out when the next local Munch is and Go. You Have Limits and you better find out what they are because someone else WILL!

The point is… “Get Involved!” But “Do not throw yourself to the wolves!”

I forget where this old quote came from but; “That which is worth doing is seldom if ever easy.”

If you are sincere, forthright, honest and consistent in your message you Will draw the attention of equally sincere, forthright and honest fellow kinksters.

And only a ‘Suggestion’… If you are a submissive.. Find yourself a Protector/Guardian.. If you are Dominant… Find yourself a Mentor/Teacher…

I am throwing in a number of links to some of my other writings and rants. Just understand This… I do not know everything… My view points are MINE not yours… Do not take everything I say or write as golden so please please please seek other sources of INPUT!

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